NEW FAD “GUN CONTROL” DIET: SHED MORE POUNDS FASTER THAN YOU EVER DREAMED POSSIBLE!

Posted: January 25, 2013 in by Bobby Ray Stacy
Tags: ,

Gun Control - An Equal Opportunity Destroyer

Gun Control’s not only just for Liberals! It works for everyone! YOU too, can achieve dramatic results with Gun Control! Jane was a Conservative Republican… and just look at the results SHE got! Life-Altering! As a quick and easy weight-loss program, Gun Control can’t be beat!  Jane shed 130 pounds in only 3.7 seconds! Now THAT’S fast and easy! No expensive prepackaged meals to buy, no sweaty, boring exercise to do. Get on the strict Gun Control rapid weight-loss program today, and your own results could be equally as mind-blowing as Jane’s!

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Her Story

Jane came from a small town in West Virginia where they cherished the Constitution and the Right to Bear Arms…

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 Wood County, West Virginia Welcome Sign

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Her daddy was the sheriff, a kind-hearted, freedom-loving mountain man, who raised her in the proper etiquette of guns and ammo. By the time she graduated from the community college she’d won trophies for combat pistolcraft, and was voted “the one babe you don’t want to mess with” in her senior yearbook.

And no one ever did mess with her, unless she wanted them to… because everyone knew she was packing heat and could take care of herself.

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Linda Hamilton - Terminator

“You feelin’ lucky, punk?”

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But jobs were scarce in her small rural town, and she didn’t want to work for minimum wage at the sawmill or the bakery, which were the only ones doing any hiring for the moment at least, and the bright lights of the city lured her away from daddy’s arms, and the tranquil farm which had been like a warm soft bosom to her for all her tender years…

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 Not Hiring Sign

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Jane spent most of the night the night before she left lost in thought and searching her soul. Despite all the general excitement there was this little nagging feeling that just wouldn’t go away, something that wasn’t quite right — call it an intuition — and she wasn’t fully comfortable with the idea of not being able to take her guns along where she was going for the purposes of self-protection. It violated her patriotic principles and the mere thought of it left her feeling vaguely uneasy.

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Woman Deep in Somber Thought

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 Depressed Single Woman

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But in the end she decided the rewards outweighed any risks involved, and after all, nobody else where she was going had a gun either, did they? Except for the police, and there were plenty of those to go around, weren’t there? And so the allure of a high-powered career and a swinging social life put her on a plane to The Big Easy…

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Commercial Airliner Taking off

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The city was fabulous, like a never-ending carnival, 24 hours a day. After only two or three days her apprehension dwindled, and she began to grow more relaxed amid the strange surroundings.

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Bangkok Thailand Night

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She loved her new apartment, too. What an exhilerating view! 

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Cityscape at Night

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Then one night after a week had gone by uneventfully, she decided to branch out in her travels and explore a whole new boulevard. One wrong turn led to two, the third one left her lost, and the appearance of her surroundings quickly began to take on an ever more intimidating character. Suddenly, there he was…

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Mystery Man

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Her intuitive alarm went off even as he lunged and her hand instinctively shot into her purse and closed on… nothing. The last thing she thought as the gloved hand clamped over her face and everything faded to black, was that she never should have allowed herself to end up in a place where the inviolable and absolute right to bear arms as guaranteed the citizens by the Constitution, had been abrogated by local and unconstitutional authority. It was a sucker’s trap. She should’ve stayed on the farm where the Second Amendment was still protected, and thus her very life and liberty as well…

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Single Woman Attacked in Home

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When her eyes finally flickered open and adjusted to the dim light of the makeshift dungeon, panic welled up inside her as the gravity of her situation became frighteningly clear…

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Cute Chubby Redhead Coed in Bondage

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He stretched it out over a period of days, as she screamed bloody murder, told him she loved him, begged him to kill her…

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Chubby Coed with Big Tits in Bondage

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Then one day, in the midst of a rather particularly brutal torture session, she just turned off, her mind snapped like a dry twig… and she became completely unresponsive no matter what he tried…

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A Shattered Consciousness

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MK-ULTRA Trauma-Based Mind Control Sex Slave

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Growing quickly weary of that, he decided to possess her in a whole new way…

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Woman's Head Mounted On Wall Display

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But he could never really possess her, she had already returned home… where her whispers are occasionally heard on warm summer nights when the soft breeze rustles the pine boughs…

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Spirit in the Mist

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Guns and condoms have at least a couple of things in common: first, they were both designed for your personal protection and can act to save your life… and with either, it’s better to have one and not need one, than to need one and not have one. 

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Christian Beheaded by Islamic Terrorists

Don’t touch that remote! When we return, you’ll find out how Harold Ramos, our BIGGEST LOSER ever, got on the strict Gun Control rapid weight-loss program, and shed over 300 pounds in one second flat — WITHOUT any dieting or exercise! DON’T miss out!

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The END Clapboard Image

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Comments
  1. madmemere says:

    Go to your favorite health food store, or Vitamin Cottage, if there’s one near you. If you opt to try it, be sure it’s labeled “pure” green coffee bean extract. Take two, one-half-hour before mealtime, once, or twice a day; no “bad” side effects, “not” dangerous to your health. Look it up on the net, or if you’re at the health food store, read the labeling!

  2. madmemere says:

    If you really want to diet and lose weight, try green coffee bean extract; it’s “safe”!

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